the snake fight

God damn right I watched Teddy Roosevelt watch a snake fight. God damn right I looked directly into that camera for the entire time. Stabbing you in the heart - not only am I photographed watching Teddy Fucking Roosevelt watch snakes fucking fight, I have seen it enough to pause and look directly at you. If I have had my fill - my entire fill - of watching Teddy Roosevelt watch snakes fight.

What have you ever done that was 1/10th as awesome as that?

That’s right.