January 2012
4 posts
ah yes
Occasionally you find yourself staring at a glowing rectangle by your lonesome and you realize that really, it’s your own fault.
obits
I see obituaries every single day in the newspaper, because apparently people don’t stop dying.
Sometimes it is natural and sometimes it is because they angered the wrong person, and sometimes it is because that is how the world works.
Some have religion and they believe in more.
I have none of this, and I see no rational reason to believe that anything exists beyond what we are right...
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wishes
It’s been said a billion times, but the media poisons us.
I wish that jobs and love and success and revelations came in the packages they do on TV and that we didn’t have to think so much about every decision. Because if you are anything like any normal human, your thinking is universally wrong.
Then again, if life was simple, anyone with a modicum of intelligence would probably...
December 2011
1 post
1 tag
smug moon
That smug bastard moon, leaning on the stars, judging us.
You have permanence in your grin, but you aren’t permanent. Relative to your size and mission, your permanence is as long as ours, craterface.
We are flicks of a lighter to our master the Sun.
November 2011
16 posts
2 tags
super poop
I only ever wanted to be normal, for a moment.
Then the doctors gave me the news - my superhuman status did not protect me from acid reflux disease.
I would have rather had cancer.
It wasn’t just the hearburn.
There was the bloating. I wear spandex all day.
They say don’t wear tight clothing, I walk around in two outfits.
…
this isn’t working.
Take 2:
...
1 tag
all sofas go to heaven
Yeah, I’m your garbage. Act like it’s my fault the cushions got set on fire. I’m definitely the guy that decided to drink a 6 pack of some fancy microbrew and take a nap with a stoogie. I fully supported that, in fact. It was a cold night, I was excessively clean and dry, and the cleansing sting of flame brought me to a new spiritual plane - a place that you can’t fathom,...
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make it sail
The dog once heard his master claim that “He” would never do it again.
“He” had said we were safe from that fate; but not all fate, apparently.
The house didn’t used to be in a gorge. Or the gorge didn’t use to be around the house. The dog didn’t have the long-term memory necessary to remember landscape details.
It was a poorly crafted vessel, and...
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winter nights
I like the first nights of winter.
The wind is refreshing. It signals change in pressure and system. It’s always the first spark of change that burns brightest.
There are clouds, which will bring snow, which weighs down a stark landscape.
Anticipation.
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tests
years ago he looked at the perfectly oval dots in the booklet and filled them with precision strokes like he was inhabitated by a supernatural force of intelligence and decision making.
now he stumbles and falls through phone calls and awkward nights.
and he realizes that he was only ever good at multiple choice tests, with four answers laid out to pick from, and a really good chance B or C...
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extraction
This seems like unnecessary effort.
This tree is clearly interested in remaining exactly where it has been for several hundred years.
This living organism has grown up in this spot, where it is comfortable, and where it has the appropriate mix of sunshine and shade, in this spot, where it can grow to immense, immovable proportions.
“This is all true,” he says, “But even...
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not so bad
They kissed, and it was delightful.
“This isn’t so bad” he said.
“It could be worse” she said.
“Yes - the train could be coming immediately.”
“I think we have several hours.”
“Yes - it usually passes through on the way to Kalamazoo at 7 PM.”
“I think that’s when I’m usually making evening tea.”
...
1 tag
emotional savings accounts
Johan steps on the accelerator and reaches over to the passenger seat. The car swerves, a bit, but this is not a concern, because it happens all the time. Johan pulls out wrinkled $20 bills. Johan throws them out the window and they flutter to the street so he pulls closer to the sidewalk and throws more, and these flutter closer to the sidewalk where the people can grab them.
...
2 tags
windows
Sometimes he looks at a window and he sees the reflection of beauty. It’s a beauty in this world that’s rare and it makes him sad, because he isn’t that beauty and he doesn’t have that beauty and he doesn’t know that beauty. It distracts him from what he must do and where he must be - and yes, it’s beautiful - but he isn’t sure what about it makes it so...
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the jazz singer 2011
He’d never actually SEEN The Jazz Singer, of course, because nobody watches movies that old. At least nobody born past 1973, someone with adoring fans that came to the Trembling Lizard two nights a week to hear cover versions of Al Green and Marvin Gaye. Crowds of lonely tourists and wives and bohemians, soaking in the chipped wood walls and tables, the dull reverberation of the bass...
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leaving
- do you want me to leave?
— i don’t think i’m at that point yet
there’s the crossroads.
option #1: talk it out. find out what the problems are, probe into it. this is tricky. you have to be concise and to the point but open. when you’ve already had the conversation twice, the third time risks pushing things into an irreconcilable malaise. nobody wants to spend their time with someone who...
1 tag
limits
jack wasn’t an easy guy to know. he used to be outgoing and vibrant. back in the glory day he held court at the corner bar with wild stories and a personality that brought the lonely to him like those poor insects to a steel zapper. hover, hover, hover ZAP. he’d scorch them right when they got just a bit too close.
he used to be a champion physical specimen. but at 48 years old he wasn’t quite...
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going home
he grabs his lighter off the table for the last time and give one more hearty fuck you shout-out on his way out the door, because it was never meant to be and that’s just how the universe works. leaving is always the easiest part. staying is always the hardest. and staying away is impossible in so many ways.
he makes the traditional going-home drive and listens to sad songs with mournful guitars...
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tired decisions
i drink the coffee because i have to, because i do it everyday, because if i don’t i’ll end up laying on the couch with a city construction project running in my head.
but that wakes me up, and then i have to think. which means i have to be reminded of how tired i am and feel the dull sense of confusion that runs through my brain when i’m actually awake.
so, i drink the coffee. because it brings...
1 tag
losing
ernest hemingway said that man is not made for defeat. that we are destroyed, but never defeated. it is a heroic view of our dismal spirits. a thought that i try to keep with me through all battles, but rarely live up to.
every day i walk the streets and wonder where my real battle is. i wonder what it was like for a man like hemingway who seemingly had his drive and mission beyond any rational...
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curses
the best curse to ever give a man would be the ability to see what happens if they change one decision. do you really want to know what life would be like had you drank one more beer that night or had you said yes instead of no to that girl in college or had you waited just a bit longer to make it clear or waited ten seconds before hitting send on that email or made that block instead of whiffing...
October 2011
4 posts
1 tag
Wet Falls
A fall rain is noiser than a spring rain. There is atonal chaos to the air. Leaves cover every surface. Life is happening all around - but it is a time of death; not birth like spring.
We rush through the streets. The first chill of the winter is too much for a sun fried mind in recovery. Work is happening. But we haven’t been off since Labor Day and Thanksgiving is weeks ago....
the snake fight
God damn right I watched Teddy Roosevelt watch a snake fight. God damn right I looked directly into that camera for the entire time. Stabbing you in the heart - not only am I photographed watching Teddy Fucking Roosevelt watch snakes fucking fight, I have seen it enough to pause and look directly at you. If I have had my fill - my entire fill - of watching Teddy Roosevelt watch snakes fight.
...
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all sixes and sevens and nines
He was pretty sure the song wasn’t about women, or relationships. Mostly life.
Sure, that involves women.
It’s all also about the groove, the one people talk about like it was unlocked from the secrets of ancient Egypt, a universal groove that has held life together since the dawn of man.
That’s also true. And involves women.
It’s not about gallivanting about the...
You could call it mobile
but really, it wasn’t mobile.
Even Angie’s stuffed dog wasn’t going anywhere.
John wanted to blame the economy. But he was the only one fired. A dozen others of similar experience and - in his estimation - talent level, remained. It wasn’t the economy. It was the puke at the Christmas party or the time he walked to the copier, stared at it, took a lighter from his...
September 2011
2 posts
1 tag
soaring mustangs
The battle had arrived. Ghost took his fighting stance. This was the latest last battle. The masked man took his spot on his horse. Across the sand battleground, a woman. On the opposite side, a hot air ballon. Around them - wilderness.
The masked man was the guardian of this kingdom. Severe agoraphobia kept him in the caves, despite his immense powers. On the back of his masked horse, he...
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a goat story
I grew up in one of those Eastern European republics that no one in your country knows the name of. We used to be a part of the glorious Soviet Union until your country sent us into a financial death spiral. There were many problems after that. I am quite confident that you have heard of them. There was capitalism and it’s cousin corruption. There were new titles for the same leaders. I...
January 2011
6 posts
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